The Recovery Sessions

by Carrick May

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1.
04:56
2.
03:37
3.
05:07
4.
5.
07:54
6.
03:43
7.
05:58
8.
05:43
9.
04:11
10.
03:49
11.
03:35
12.
03:59
13.

about

7 years since the release of the Black Heart album it had seemed that there would only be one real musical footoprint left in my name. Life had moved on and music remained nothing but a hobby and occassional weekend money spinner.

In the final months of 2012 however, as I watched my father battle against terminal cancer, coupled with a drawn out break up of a relationship, I once again turned to my music to not only vent my emotions, but also to confront them.

I began writing and recording songs in my home studio, often in a single session over an afternoon or Saturday night in. The emotions are, like the recordings, very raw.

Initially I started recording the songs for the soul purpose of allowing myself a creative outlet and to possibly record enough demos to have a blue print for a possible 2nd album down the line. As time dragged on, the songs were being written faster than I could record them. An emotion felt during the day would lead to a song that would be recorded that night.

As I make my way in to 2014 I continue to have a back log of musical inspirations I want to explore and the possibility of a 2nd studio album remains a possibility, but it seemed a waste not to utilise the hours I had poured in to countless guitar tracks, drum rolls and high notes I couldn't quite reach.

All of these tracks were recorded as demos only, some may eventually be redone, most will never exist in any form other than as they are here.

Every single instrument on this album is written, performed and produced by me. Every lyric is original and genuinely from the heart.

So before I closed the book on these recording sessions that helped me limp through 2013 I have decided to use them to fight against the thing that caused me so much pain to begin with. From a negative period, something positive must flow.

Every single cent earned from sales of the Recovery Sessions will be donated to the Australian Cancer Research Foundation.

credits

released April 8, 2014

All songs composed, performed and produced by Carrick May

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about

Carrick May Sydney, Australia

After releasing his debut album in 2007 Carrick distanced himself from the music industry to focus on other career pursuits. He limited his musical interludes to paid pub gigs where he would play covers for extra pocket money.

In 2012, as his father battled terminal cancer, a resolve possessed him to turn to the medium that was once his passion. The result is The Recovery Sessions.
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Track Name: Last Goodbye
I walked alone to find my home,
I found a light and overwhelmed my sight,
So play the music loud...

They gathered round all the friends that I had found,
They talked for hours of the stories that were ours,
So play the music loud...
And dance to the beat of the drum...

So sing my song, I will sing along, though my voice may not be heard, I can still hear yours...

The drinks did flow in a place that I did know,
Through many tears they spoke of all my years,
And the smiles that we had shared,
So play the music loud,
And dance to the beat of the drum...

So sing my song, I will sing along, though my voice may not be heard, I So Dance for me, and I lived like a song, and this is my goodbye, but the music will not die...

So hold me in your arms as you sing your favourite part,
Would you hold me as you dance oh to have just one last dance,
We would dance and sing till the sun did rise...

Sing my song, I will sing along, though my voice may not be heard, I can still hear yours...
Track Name: Not True
Behold my desire and look beyond the fire of your smooth skin racing deep within my heart,
But it's all been broken the pieces torn apart,
But there's something you can't see,
I lie still follows me,

But my eyes still look for you,
In a crowd I stare right through,
But I've heard that you're not true.

It seems that science has many pretty ways of confusing minds in layers of confusion,
And it pays to require a face to match the words,
All these foolish beings,
That have hurt and hacked at your heart,
A shame you've held since the start,

But my eyes still look for you,
In a crowd I stare right through,
But I've heard that you're not true.

Tonight's the turning tide, I no longer have to hide...

But my eyes still look for you,
In a crowd I stare right through,
But I've heard that you're not true.
Track Name: Lost
Trying hard to find the mystery in the every day,
It's so hard to find your destiny when...
We were so far from home and hiding from the sun,
Two strangers in love and Lost...

Yes I was Lost...

I've forgotten all my sympathy back when I was young,
So scarred by my complexity I've won...
No wars but the lines in these battles I have won,
Has won me no ground but still I'm Lost...

So you're lies have redeemed your own fate,
I can be what you want me to be,
Have you beg for me plead on your knees,
I'll retreat have my pride retrieved...

I've lived the life of a thousand libertines, I've spoke in anger, I've growled upon their seas,
But I've been lost since the age of 17 but I still cannot sleep...
Track Name: Could Have Been
I could have been the hero that saved a thousand lives,
I could have been the leader that lead us through the strife,
I could have been the ruler that ruled a hundred years,
I could have been the silent fighter the source of evil's fears,
I could have been the man who kept the flame alive,
I could have been the last survivor of the fight,
I could have been, I could have been, I could have been...

I could have climbed a mountain and told the world what I saw,
I could have been the tamer that tamed the lion's roar,
I could have been the poet that held a thousand minds,
I could have told have told stories that would stretch for miles and miles,
I could have been, I could have been, I could have been

I could have been the lover that held a hundred hearts,
I could have got loving down to the finest of the arts,

I could have been so much more,
I could have been more than this,
I could have been your brother,
I could have been your father,
I could have been your best friend,
I could have been...
Track Name: Heart
Don't forget my name, I'll be remembered by the letters and the sounds it makes,
And right now I'm in your mind, but when you're gone they will not find the feats of mine or all my crimes,
So what have I to hold, what tales should now be told,
I found a soul that made me whole, I found warmth beneath the cold,
Whatever shall replace my visions of your face,
To know that I have held your heart, that will be the greatest part of me.

So every man is given time to share his love or do his crime,
But every man has time denied, the truth still haunts the dreams that lied,
For righting all the wrongs, so haunted by the dawns,
Of numbered days and countless nights, alternate ways but all that's right,
Is she that lies beside, this partner on the ride,
And somehow it was always true, although you questioned all you knew.
Track Name: Said Before
Hit the lights, see the sights, and reach the heights in all the nights you were drinking away,
Broken heart, from the start, now the forgotten part, of your world.

Now every time I looked away, counting to that final day, waiting for you to be home,
Now everyone's a sinner, and everyone's a saint, but everyone keeps making the same mistake.

Yeah well I try, but you see, well you took my pride,
And it's easy to say, but I won't, cuz it's all been said before.

Somewhere through the winter you wandered to my bed, maybe you were thinking I was him instead.
But lying next to me, well I was lying too, holding on to secrets that I could not shed.
But falling from those heights I was hit and I was heaved, clinging to the hope that was all I had.
But who has touched your skin, well I know who's touched mine, save your explanation cuz it's all been said before.

Well I know it seems the story goes around,
Yeah well I try, but you see, well you took my pride,
And it's easy to say, but I won't, cuz it's all been said before.

So what is there to say, and what is there to do, when everything to say has been said by you?

Yeah well I try, but you see, well you took my pride,
And it's easy to say, but I won't, cuz it's all been said before.
Track Name: The Artist
So the lights return on me,
And I remain all they see,
And now it comes my time to shine,
Now the stage is all mine,

Now time doesn't turn,
But the wheels of fate still burn,
And I play on...

I know it's danger to live your life with your heart upon the line,
But these creations that fool your mind they're all I leave behind,

Now time doesn't turn,
But the wheels of fate still burn,
And I play on...

Maybe one day they'll remember who I was, and all the dreams that I had dreamt,
And maybe one day the artist will live on...

And I know the end will soon be here along with all I have to fear,
Just a number, a name upon a stone, "here lies a man who died alone..."

Now time doesn't turn,
But the wheels of fate still burn,
And I play on...

I can live a life in silence, but this life would not be lived,
In a heart that must be heard, I'll have peace when I have spoken,
Though the body fades away, the artist still lives on...
Track Name: Undefeated
Thinking of the past wont bring it back,
I've been staring at your face and now the space that I held in your heart has been torn and I bleed deep inside,

And now the leppers that you fear, have forgotten why their here,
And the legends that you seek have returned to haunt your dreams,
And the kingdom that once crumbled remains... Undefeated.

And you still breathe over me everyday,
So I stand by her side everyday on this ride,
And it fills with doubt your urge to shout and scream.

And all the blessings that you made shall be lost to history,
And even heroes need to hide from the fears they cannot see,
And your love has not been broken, it remains... Undefeated.

So it's set from the start, to find your love you find your heart,
And it goes around around around around, your head.

And I don't mean to disagree,
But if I were you and you were me,
And bound by the chains of an overthinking mind,
You would stand with pride... Undefeated.

I'm not afraid to cry aloud and show my tears to all those around,
But a growl replaces what should have come from a sorrowed mind,
Cuz I remain... Undefeated.
Track Name: Find A Way
Little comfort that you find from closing your mind,
May shield you from their words,
But alone is a lonely way to be...

So they say,
"Love will find a way"

I heard love hides in this place,
I was searching for your face,
And a song could be so wrong,
But I hoped for love too long...

So they say,
"Love will find a way"
But I'm still here?
Track Name: Pathway
I heard a lie the other day,
I'd spoken words I'd never say,
And it's so easy to disguise a broken heart beneath the smiles,

The loudest lough belies the tears,
A confidence to hide the fears,
And so they've to come to take me down,
Cuz I stood tall upon their ground,

But I won't retreat,
I strand stronger on my feet,
And I know I'll take the blows,
Cuz I'm proud to stand upon my feet,

So they judge what they see,
Before I've spoken they've already defined me,
And it's a role that I could never break apart,
Cuz I know that I was me right from the start,

But I won't retreat,
I strand stronger on my feet,
And I know I'll take the blows,
Cuz I'm proud to stand upon my feet,
Track Name: The Fighter
Born in the winds of death and destruction,
It's all I've known since my conception,
Our rivers run free in world I have seen,
But I know my eyes deceive me,

So raise your flag and I'll run beside you,
And we shall bleed as one,
And I'll fight on...

And I've been beaten to my knees I've stood amongst the fallen,
And they'll never be forgotten,
And if a day sets where I am not so lucky,
At least I'll be remembered

So raise your flag and I'll run beside you,
And we shall bleed as one,
And I'll fight on...
Track Name: Hypnotise
Lovers role in bed of roses,
Beauty strikes so many poses,
Are they gonna break your heart?

Listen to the angels singing,
Read between the lines for meaning,
You were beaten at the start.

Hypnotise your mind.

Hold the light of life before you,
Do just what they tell you to do,
What you really trying to find?

Love is such a dangerous feeling,
Feel too much and lose its meaning,
Could they loosen up your mind?

Hypnotise your mind.

Wake up to the sound of thinking,
Can't escape what's come beneath me,
Will you pay to save your life?

So hold me down and ostracise,
I can't believe so publicise,
I'm a monster hear me roar.

Hypnotise your mind.
Track Name: Praise the Gods
Gather round preachers it is told,
Here is the message to be sold to your flock,
Blame the demons for their pain,
Blame the devil for their shame,
In God's name.

Turn from the lies don't let them free,
Turn from the lights don't let them see,
To believe what they want to conceive what they want to be loved and to love whoever they want it is wrong.

Did you praise the Gods?
Did you praise the Gods?

And I praised the lord I will hate for you,
And I praised the lord I will fight for you,
And I praised the lord I will kill for you,

So you praised the God,
Did you praise the right God?